AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What to post on???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Teaser three

It's here!

The Emperor’s blog story has arrived! Go to the theatre, buy your ticket, get your seat (Don’t forget the popcorn) and enjoy! First post on Monday! It’s here! The moment we have been waiting for, IT’S THE EMPIRE!

Have any questions on the Emperor's blog story? Or on the Empire ? Well here it is!

For the second time in imperial history, the Emperor is hosting a press conference on blog spot, so YOU can ask questions on the Empire! You will get all questions answered, Have a question? Have it answered. Tomorrow, it will begin. I will be available at five on Wednesday, four on Thursday, four on Friday, and twelve and eight on Saturday. Highlights include, but are not limited to: Emperor's story, copy rights, what he is doing in blogs, territory distribution and being allowed into the upcoming story.

HAIL JONAH!

My birthday

Yesterday was my birthday, I had a LOT of fun. We began the day by doing school, and then, since it was my birthday, got Extra history, which was fun. We ate lunch, went to my grandparents house. It was great. Also, last week we saw the preview screening of '3:10 to Yuma' with Russel Crowe and Christian Bale. It was my first time in the theaters was in 2005, watching Revenge of the Sith. And since 2000, I only saw 'The Alamo, Attack of the clones, Lord of the rings 3, Revenge of the Sith and now 3:10 to Yuma. So the point I am trying to get across is that it was pretty special going to the theater. The movie was great, the best western from 1976 and on. So, It was a great movie. Though there was a bit of language and one adult situations scene that is easy to skip by looking elsewhere besides the screen because it is easy to see when its coming.


Oh, and for all who are wondering, The production on the Empire episode I:From Shadows and dust is coming along but there might be a delay and Imperial studios cannot release it until Late October or November.

Farewell!

I am off to war!

I am leaving to go on vacation, so, no more on my blog for two weeks. Farewell!

Empire news

Hello, this is your imperial news reporter at the top of the hour. The emperor has returned from a long campaign in Willits, which was largely successful. After his success his approval ratings went up, as well as the people's opinions on his foreign Policy. The Emperor is now preparing to embark on a trip to Alaska, More on that later. We will take a brief commercial break, More in a moment, this is Empire news. Now a word from our sponsers. Brought to you in part by Ask the Thing: The random side of our world.

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Ambassador Michelle Rolanex sighed. "Something is happening. I am not the leader I should be. My people are dieing, And I cannot be with them." Christopher Dantor walked up "You have done all you can do. It is now up to the Senate to decide their fate."

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Coming this fall

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The fighter crashed into the command center. The Pilot climbed onto the smoldering ship "Come on Zach, Jump out!"

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The greatest blog story in History, is coming right on the emperor's blog

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Thousands of soldiers, Marching, one footstep all at once. Kayla glanced at Timothius “So this is it. This shall be the invasion of Neapolis.” Timothius Acrenus nodded.

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The Empire: Episode I

Coming to blogs in October

We are back on Empire news. In a few days the Emperor will be going to Alaska to negotiate with the local tribes. More infromation later, this is empire news.

Yes, Another video...

Yes I have another video. This time from Star wars. I don't like most of that series, but I do like episode III, especially the final scene. ENJOY!

The Conquest of Wilits and The war against the Boy scouts.

Well, Another year of fighting barbarians in that little town. The campaign was a success. On day one I conducted a bit of "Espionage" on the enemy while I was at first A commander on the barbarian side. After minor skirmishing on day one, I conducted a heavy assault on there position at the battle of Big dipper ridge. The VI legion under General Williams attacked the barbarian tribe Scouts on the left while I led the rest of the army in the main Charge in the center. The enemy was out flanked and was forced to retreat. On day two We attacked the positions at sleepy Hollow. We first came under attack but repulsed them. We assaulted their line three times and could not break them.Then we made a "Pincher" attack and sent The Commandos on the right, The VI legion on the left, The Imperial Guard in Center and Beserkers in rear. Then the Enemy was concentrated on the center and were taken by surprise when the beszerks assaulted. The enemy was routed and was nearly annihilated but they were able to break through the VI Corps and escaped. On the third day, We attacked their camp and caught them by surprise. We demolished their fort and Chased off the guards and bought them off. The Barbarian Commander fled and we caught up with him. We surrounded him and fired on all ends. He ran up then Hit the ground. We repeatedly hit him with our weapons until he surrendered. We dragged him to his feet, And took the prisoner. The Army of the six Corps was weary and we could not attack any more till the last day when A raiding party attacked our camp. The Imperial guard took them at flank and made them flee down the hill. We captured and Executed their Chieften. Though Wilits is not taken it will. MORE LATER!

I probably will resign

As I said, I probably will resign from being Emperor. It is too much work and I don't even like doing it any more. It sorta lost it's excietment. And It never was fun. I am going to see what you all think of it.

Pickett's CHARGE!

July third; 150 cannon have been bombarding union positions all day. The smoke cleared, ahead of them were 50,000 union soldiers, behind a low stonewall. The cannon was so loud, it shook Washington DC, 100 miles away. Two days of Battle wore on both Sides. Confederate general Lee attacked the union left and Right with minimal success. The Confederates needed to do one more attack and the union will break. But where? Lee disscussed it With Lieutenant General Longstreet, And Lee wanted to Attack in the Center, But Longstreet did Not. Lee: "Gen. Longstreet, I want you to take your entire Corps, And attack those People's center." Longstreet sighed, "General Lee, I would be marching over a mile of open ground. If I attacked with the Right flank of the army, we won't have a flank at all. I..." "They Shall break in the center. We attacked on the left and Right flanks so they withdrew their troops there, So there Center will be Weak. I will give You The divisions of Pickett,Trimble and Maclaws. With 22,000 men,150 guns and my old Warhorse,You,Leading them, WE will prevail." "General, I have been a soldier all my life. You know my record,I have served from the ranks on up. And no 22,000 men can take that . Those are Hancock's Boys, and they have the Stone wall that we defended at Fredricksburg! That's Hancock out there, and he ain't going to Run." "General,We do our duty,We do our duty" And Lee rode off. Longstreet walked off to tell Pickett, One of his generals. "George, There is a big fight coming up! So get ready George, GET READY!" Pickett saw to his troops. Four Confederate Divisions formed. On the left General Trimble, Commanding the deceased Pender,with 6,000 men. Followed by Pettigrew, Commanding Heth's old division, With 7,000 men. Behind him, Wilcox formed 3,000 men. Finally at the Right, The fresh division that has not seen action for eight months. It was commanded by George Pickett, with two brigades in front under Garnett and Kemper, then in reserve a heavy Brigade under Lo Armistead. 22,000 men marched forward.: The high water mark of the Confederacy, Always victorious, They marched over a Mile to a fence, then another half to the wall. George Pickett, Yelled on His horse, "Up men,Up,And to your Posts! And may no man, forget today, That you are from old Virginia!" They marched. Under a hail of Cannon shot, They reached the Fence! Trimble's men fell back, Wilcox never advanced. Pettigrew charged past the fence But was Pushed back to to Cross fire at the angle in the line. Garnnett Charged on Horse back waving his hat, "Forward men, Not too fast, SAVE YOUR STRENGTH! "They charged to the Angle.He was riddled with bullets and his men fled. Kemper was caught trying to stop a union flanking maneuver. It was up to Armisted to take the wall. Armisted raced to the fence. Climbing on top of it, he turned around and shouted "Virginians! Virginians! With me! Who will come with me? "He Stabbed his sword through his hat, Holding it high in the gleaming sun and yelled "now Let's give them the Cold Steel, Boys!"and proceeded to dash dead on at the line.Bullets, Shells and canister would not stop them. Others rallied behind the Virginians as they charged in the final, suicidal dash. Armistead leaped on top of the wall defended by the federal and urged the men on toward the rally point- the copse of trees. General lee looked up in hope to see the battered five thousand scaling the wall. The flags went over as Armistead urged his men to turn around the cannon, turn the guns. The entire first union line broke. As He pressed forward, placing his hand on a cannon, a rattle of union muskets brought him down. He crumpled alongside the cannon, as he looked over to see the union advance. Moments later, His Friend from the Mexican war, his best friend whom he had sworn never to harm, a leading union general was cut down by a bullet to the stomach. Armisted looked around frantically to see the confederate line breaking with the new union wave. All was for nothing. The effort had failed as the rebels fled. From Seminary ridge, Pickett saw his boys charge in, flags flying, only to be swallowed up. Armisted learned of his friends wounding to much grief. He was placed in a union hospital, next bed over from his wounded friend. Though they were but feet away, Armistead would never see him again. Lee looked at the thousands or Stragglers. Hundreds of Confederate soldiers wandered back to the line. They formed around Lee.He began to speak "It is all my Fault, It is entirely all my Fault. I thought We were invincible."
The battle was over. Longstreet rode up and Formed what was left of the men. During Pickett's Charge, Out of the 22,000 confederates, seven thousand were lost. Out of the fifty Thousand Union, 5,000. As a whole at Gettysburg, Lee lost 18,000 men out of 88,000. Meade lost 32,000 out of 130,000 men. Read Victory At Gettysburg to Find out more!

This day in History...

No, It's not about the Signing of the declaration of Independence, it's



One of my favorite battles in History. From July first to Third, 210,000 soldiers fought at a small town in Pennsylvania Called Gettysburg in the American civil war. UP to that point, the union have always been beat. It was time that the south take the war into the lands of their northern opponents. On July first A battle west of Gettysburg, The advance guards Battle. I could go on for days about this, but I won't. The Confederate III corps Charged a position Defended by Dismounted union Calvary and were pushed back. They Charged again while the Union Corps under John Reynolds came up. The union second in command, John Reynolds, was Shot down and the Rest of the men fled to the ridges and hills south of the town. While they Fled the Confederate II corps charged at the Rear of the Union, Causing Panic and many to surrender. The Confederates halted and waited for the next day to finish of the union. That day, they achieved an amazing Victory.

July 2- The confederates planned there attack, They decided that A diversion attack to the north, While the Main attack was to the South. The confederates advanced in the north, to draw away union troops in the south. In the South, the confederates attacked. First, Gen. John Bell Hood Attacked Devil's den Where some of the bloodiest fighting took place. They drove them out but Hood was wounded, So Brigadier General Law took command. Law Led his men to attack Little Round top, where Colonel Vincent's Union were entrenched. Law took a Alabama brigade under Lieutenant Colonel Thomas Oates to the far Left flank where the 20th Maine was positioned. After an Hour of Fighting, The 20th Maine under Chamberlain, was out of Ammunition and also half strength. They had only one Choice, Fight to the last: They Charged Down little round top with Bayonets fixed and miraculously drove the Alabamians away.

Around a mile north, the fighting was thick. The Confederates under Lieutenant General Longstreet with Major generals Anderson,Mclaws and Pender, Charged the union under Dan Sickels, routing and destroying 4 enemy Divisions. Even further north, Confederates under Jubal Early attacked the union XI Corps. The Confederates then seized the high ground. Another Confederate Division under Johnson attacked the XII Corps and drove them away. The Battle was nearly won. If you ever want to know more, talk with me. More Tomorrow, Because after all, Tomorrow is another day.


Talk to your Emperor about Civil war History, and ask if it is right for you. Restrections apply, limit one(or more) Free lectures per person. Don't delay. Call now, while you can. Not redeemable in Alaska,Hawaii or anywhere else outside the US.

When I conquer the world all will say this, in all these laungeges:
Empereur de Grêle Jonah! L'Empereur du monde!-French


Hagel-Kaiser Jonah! Der Kaiser der Welt!-German


Imperador de granizo Jonah! O Imperador do mundo!-pourtegese


Император Града Джона! Император мира! -Russian


¡Emperador de saludo Jonah! ¡El Emperador del mundo!-Spain


세계의 우박 황제Jonah!The황제!-Korea


Αυτοκράτορας αυτοκρατόρων Jonah!The χαλαζιού του κόσμου!-Greek


世界のあられ皇帝のJonah!The 皇帝!-Japan


冰雹皇帝世界的Jonah!The 皇帝-China


Imperatore di Jonah!The dell'imperatore della grandine del mondo!-Italian


De Keizer van de Keizer Jonah!The van de hagel van de wereld!-Dutch

حبّة برد إمبراطورة [جونه]! الإمبراطورة من العالم-Arabic

Hagelkejsare Jonah! Kejsaren av världen!-Sweedish

Hagl Keiser Jonah ! Keiseren av verdenen ! -Noriegen

Hail Imperator Jonah! Imperator of orbis terrarum!-Latin


Валя Император Jonah! Определителен член Император на определителен член Свят -Bulgarian

Krupobití Císař Jonah! Člen určitý Císař of člen určitý Svět!-Chezch

Huutaa ImperaZúdít Császár Szerencsétlen alak! A Császár -ból Világ!-Finnish

attori Joona! Imperaattori -lta Maailma! -Hungarian

batiin emperador Jonah! ang emperador ng ang daigdig!-filipino

Hagl Keisari Jonah! The Keisari af the Veröld!-Icelendic

Grad Cesarz Jonatan! Ten Cesarz od ten Świat- Polish

Hail Emperor Jonah! Art.hot. Emperor de la Lume!-Romainian

Grad Car Jonathan! Određeni član Car nad određeni član Svet!-Serbian

zdravo imperator jonatan! imperator od svet!-Sloveinian

Bwrw cenllysg Hymerawdwr Jonah! 'r Hymerawdwr chan 'r Byd!-Welsh

dolu imparator Jonah! belgili tanımlık imparator -in belgili tanımlık dünya-Turkish
Which means HAIL Emperor Jonah, The Emperor of the world.

Thanks, I will have a better post later.

This is your Emperor, and I'm signing off

Empire news

This is the FAE's Newsroom I'm Newscaster with you here today on FOX news. The Emperor just returned from a meeting with Secretary of defense Timothy Danford and General Christopher Danford in the province of Texas. The meeting went well until a tornado hit and the meeting was broken up because General Chris Danford walked through the Tornado to get his Doughnuts. The Imperial staff remained safe. The Emperor has been weary the past days due to his travels but is now back on duty. Were report more shortly after this break. This presentation is brought to you by Ask the thing.



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You actually won't get this. We lied.

Now back to our feature presentation

The Emperor will be busy the next couple weeks. Next week busy Importing slaves at a Famous slave market, called Vacation bible school. He is chief overseer, making sure all the slaves our imported to the precise locations. After the Emperor travels to Southern CA to put down a Mexican Rebellion. Then after that, he is confined to a office for a week, and cannot see the outside world for five days. Then a Week fighting Barbarians at Camp Wente, then a two week Navel Expedition to Alaska. Then home for a week. Then he Returns for Officer training for the rest of the year. More ahead at the bottom of the hour. More in a moment. Imperial talk 560, this is Empire news.

I'm BAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!

I'm back! Here are the results


Semi final IE-Nic OI,Anthony OO,Ben Extemp,Ben DI. Not a lot.
Finals-Anthony OO. Sixth place in the Nation.

LD-quarter finals-Holly,Anthony
Semi finals-Anthony
Finals-No one

Team policy-None

Yes, we were pathetic. Those were all the breaks. Jeana didn't break in anything. Most didn't break. Big storm and a Huge Tornado. More later, Wish you all were there.

Gone for Texas...

I'm off to Texas! Off for Adventure and fortune. Sam Houston told me, I will get 640 acres of my choosing if I sign up to join a Emperzario and Fight Federalist forces. I will start out, go to Washington on Brazos, and go to a small town named Belton. I aim to settle in this here Republic.Well I am going, I wish all can Come, but know. Sorta odd not having the Dances,Rowlands and Bensons to talk to. But the Danfords are there. So Long! The Emperor is off to Fight in Texas.

BY MY TROTH, I AM OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A new post

Just wanted to give you all another test. Have fun!!!!http://www.military.com/Games

I CAN do another post! A pointless one though.

To get ANOTHER Post in, I thought up of one. Speaking of having a Dream about Speech and Debate as Catie said she had, I find it coincidental that I just had one to. It is real Random dream. It turned out that the resolution was illegal immigration, And I wrote a case with Lazarus. The case was that Cannibalism, should be made legal, to exterminate the illegals. So basically, the plan says Cannibalism is good and we should have a different type of meat in your next taco. Barbaric, I know.But what was even more weird was that everyone said it was a good case. Mrs. W. said it had a chance to going to nationals. Weird dream, Also other people ran the case, Chris and Tim were partners and ran it. The Same with Catie and Holly. Really odd, not post worthy, but I couldn't resist. Dumb dream, but good case.

This might be my last post for a long time...

I might post more in the next week, but once Nationals comes, from then on I am busy. So as this is my last post maybe for some time, I would Like to talk about a few things. Without a doubt this has been a good year. I was transformed from someone who Hates everyone to Someone who hates Most people. If I could speak longer at the Party, I would've. For I have A lot of things to say. First off, I would like to say Congratulations to everyone who Qualified, Good job. But also I would Like to say Congratulations to people who Were Close to Qualifying,and in my mind did Qualify. So Chris, Congratulations for Qualifying in Debate at Biola. I thought you guys beat Opium anyways.Michelle and Catie, Congratulations on Qualifying in Expository.I watched your Speeches almost thirty times, but I don't think I ever got sick of them. So good job everyone, You all did great this year. Thank you everyone for making this a great club, without you all here, this club would not be as good. Thanks all, and More Importantly thank you all on this blog, You all are my trusted allies. Thanks again. As I said Yesterday, At first I hated you. Do you all remember the Second Speech class when you all put those masks on and everyone had to guess the emotion. Well I thought you guys were Idiots with those masks on. I also Hated Everyone Patrick Debated at first. I think it is a little funny when I look back on it. Well I think I will miss this year. I will miss NATO and a lot of things. Probably miss Debating about the UN. And for some strange Reason I think I will miss Debating against Tim and Catie and Kayla and Michelle and Getting Slaughtered by Internal Discipline. I really Don't know why. So thanks again. I would like to make an Apology for being Rude,Selfish,Self-Centred, Evil,Annoying and Arrogant. I am Sorry.But that is the way I am so get used to it. Thank you everyone, You all are Magnificent! And I will leave you with a test: Let's see if You can Win the battle of Gettysburg. Tell me what type of Victory Or Defeat Outcome you get.
Here it is http://www.military.com/New-Gettysburg-Game/1,16378,gettysburg-main.htm,,00.html
This Is Your Emperor, And I salute you all.

A Song

For you quiz people, I am getting one on Tuesday, so be patient. As for now I thought of A song you might like. It goes to the tune "God bless America". Note: This song is not Directed to any Toucheites(With the Exception of Our 'Friend' Justin), Envoyeans, or any Supporter. This song Is directed to People at B. Scouts and other People.

God bless the Emperor
He is the Best
Fight beside him
Don't override him
Or you will end up with an Ax in your Chest

Or you will be drowned
Or get a Firing Squad
Or have a Rope Around Your Neck!

God Bless the Emperor
The whole world 'Round
YOU bless the Emperor
Or YOU won't stick around!

Well, what do you think? Oh, No body Commented on the 1812 overture I have on the background of the blog. If you listen for a while you can here Cannons go off at the end And the Les Marseailles in the Middle. Can't wait to see all of you at the Touche Party. Except you won't be there Claire, THAT IS WHY YOU SHOULD JOIN TOUCHE!!!!!!!!!! Oh well. See Most of you on Sunday!!!

Preview

I will have more stuff coming soon! Empire news articles, Songs and tests. The tests will include

1. Steal the Black box, it's a Commando mission.A lot of fun Vietnam tactics, much like the first test.
2. Releasing POWS from the Philippines. A lot like Black box.
3. What president are YOU like. My least favorite, too much like the one we just did
4. Can you win Gettysburg? Perhaps the best of the lot, my favorite.
5. The one I made.

More updates soon, this is your Emperor, and I'm signing off.

LET'S GET BACK TO WHAT THIS BLOG IS ABOUT!!!!

Lately I have been sick of all this anonymous stuff. My blog is turning into "Dark writer" which all that was was a little joke Catie made up. ENOUGH! If I hear about Dark writer again, may that person's tongue get cut out(Not really). After all, no one is talking about the actual post. So I have a new idea. I will have a series of quizzes that I make and find from various sites too see if you all are good leaders. I will keep up the flow of new things for this blog. Here is the first test of your leadership skills. Now for my Female readers, you are not expected to do the test because it is about Military Command. Which you are not required to be skilled in. If you want it for the fun in the test, you are welcome to do it. Tell me who they say what leader you are like. You all will love the test. HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!

http://www.military.com/LeaderShipTest/1,16183,main.htm,,00.html

Have fun! More tests coming soon! As well as Songs Like "Battle hymn of the Empire" "Emperor Jonah is Coming to town" "God bless the FAE" and much,much MORE!

Empire news

The Emperor's house flooded yesterday, but it is now under control. 12 People drowned in the confusion. It reported in some areas to be 14 feet deep. The emperor is gathering an army to invade Willits. A barbarian tribe is in camped there, and after last summers successful attack, the Emperor decides to renew the siege on July 14. Hopefully a Close of Operations would be on July 20. Primary objectives are
A. Camp Wente
B. Lake Wilits
C. Istanbul
D. Sky hill

Last year, all but one of the objectives were taken. The Emperor is Bringing with him the Imperial guard,Commandos, and Army group five. The group of Barbarians is the Barbarian tribe The Emperor has fought for two years.
More in a Moment, This is Empire news.

Here is a Song I thought of...

If anyone heard of the song "the Marines Hymn" you would know the tune to this. Since the US. has a theme song, I thought the FAE Marines should have one too. So I made them a song to the Marines Hymn tune. Speaking of music, do you guys like the 1812 overture in the background on my blog? To the tune of the Marines hymn...

From the Tag Mahal in India

To the shores of Waikiki

We fight our country's battles,

on the air, Land and the sea

First to opress right and Freedom

Then to destroy liberty

We are proud to claim the title

Of the FAE Marines

From the conquest of the Northern lands

To the Crossing of the Pyrenees

We are loyal to our Emperor

and we win his victories

If anyone opposes us, we will show him what is done

We will grab our knifes

And take his life

Then blow him to kingdom come

If the Arabs and the Chinese

Were to look on heaven's scenes(Which they won't, they going to be in hell instead)

They would find the streets are guarded

By the FAE marines

Okay, it isn't that good, but I did it anyway. I will have more songs too, so keep watching.

This is your Emperor, and I am signing off.*

Hail Jonah!

*I am not really signing off

Reviews are done,here is the final poll:

Review

The next person I will review is Holly,Queen of the Philippines and ruler of Singapore. Throughout the Empire it is Pretty well known that Holly wanted wanted the Philippines, as well as some Filipino Ninjas. Holly,I believe was the first to come to my blog, though it Might have been Catie.Holly, though interested in Conquering, never came a part of it until after Point Loma, when she asked at a LD tournament for her territory. Holly has been a good edition to the empire, but I wish I could give her more territory, but there is no more to give. Unless Patrick keeps insulting people, then there will be a LOT of Territory to give away!

Holly has been very Loyal, as you may notice on the blog, Holly ends the Fights, it is the same way every time:

Patrick Insults Catie

Catie gets defensive

Patrick Insults more people

Catie insults Patrick

I get into it

Holly stops it



Usually that is how it goes, THANKS HOLLY!

But I digress. Holly is a great part of the empire, and everyone, you all are like Napoleon's Marshals. The ten of you are the top officials n the empire. There are others, great ones too, lower that have territory. Like Jonathan,Nic,Isabella,Alissa and others, they are great. But you ten, ARE the best of the best. Now for the rating:



Power-35

Leadership-60

contentment-90

TOTAL185

Review

The next person I will review is Her Greatness, Lady Michelle, Ruler of South America. Michelle was one of the very first to get into the conquering, having been told at Santa Rosa debate. She was told at the same time of Kayla. Though in a earlier post I said Kayla's Reaction was shocking after I told her, Michelle reaction was the funniest. It was, first off the shock of me wanting to conquer. It was never thought of,Patrick's little brother, Little Jonah, Would want to kill Billions of People!!!!! After that, I went on a long rant(You could here more about those, Just talk to the People that went to Point Loma), But when I said "I will destroy all in South America, Peru, Brazil,Ohh, And that Evil Venezuela I hate them, Bolivia, Ecuador..." Then Shouts. "No, Not Ecuador!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It was Michelle, who went on some Mission trip there. While there, For Reasons I do not know, Became friends with the Savages, I mean Friendly Ecuadorians. After much debate I Finally said I will spare them and Make her Queen of Ecuador. More talk happened, until after Santa Rosa IE did I give her more Territory, All of South America. Michelle has been Loyal, I could never remember once that she wanted to Depose me. Michelle is another of my great leaders, and I want to give her a Government Position. It has Been great Having you with the Empire Michelle! Thanks for the Hours you spent Listining to me go on and on, thanks to everyone! You all are great! Now for the Rating


Power-60
Leadership-60
Contentment-95
TOTAL-215

Review

The next person I will review is Anthony. Anthony, though not as Enthusiastic about it as you, I am definitely Glad he is in the empire. Anthony knew of the empire but it wasn't until the Channel Islands LD tournament when he, along with Alissa and Isabella, got territory. He threw his name into the hat of co-Emperors, and I was so pleased he was in the empire I gave Him Canada and the Middle East. He will be a great benefit to us in the politics of it all. Anthony wanted to overthrow me like everyone else at one time or another, and if someone did I think if he did it, he would be the most Successful. Anthony is a great edition to the Empire, I am glad he is part of it. To make brief mention, four people have a little territory but do not take part in the Conquering for a review: Holly,Isabella,Alissa and Nic. Now for the rating:



Power-80

Leadership-80

Contentment-60

Total-220

Titles, yet again.

There has been much confusion about titles, certain people want a title such as Lady, and another His lordship, which would mean, well that I am Pairing people up, not giving them titles. But may I remind You, we have Congressmen. Just because there are two of them, one male one female, does not mean they are married. But I still see your point, so I thought of a solution: We have the title, such as Lady Cathryn Rowlands, the ruler of New Zealand. Then we have His High Lordship, Timothy Danford of Asia. So they are lords and Ladies of different countries, but if we had Lady Cathryn Rowlands of New Zealand and Lord so and so of New Zealand that would mean they are married. And anyways, We are not having the World Ball, we are having World Conquest. Which reminds me, Lazarus, If you want to play that
Risk game I am Ready for You, It sounds fun. So here are the titles,If anyone abjects, just tell me. And you all will be leaders of different countries, I intend on Dieing in the last battle of Global conquest, and then all of you with your territories become different countries. So, If there is an Empress of Europe and a Emperor of Asia, it does not mean anything. After all, They are in different countries. So, the titles:

His Lordship Timothy Danford, Emperor of Asia
Marshal Christopher Danford, Emperor of the African Empire.*
Lady Cathryn Rowlands, Ruler of New Zealand.
Michelle, Queen of South America.
Prime Minister Anthony Moreno, Ruler of The Middle east and Asia
Kayla, Empress of the European Empire
Holly, Queen of the Philippians and Commander of the Filipino Ninjas
Patrick, Chief of the mud huts in Madagascar
Lt. General Zacchaeus, King of Ellesmere
Grand Admiral Lazarus, Lord of the Mexican Empire
Jonathan the Executioner lord of the Alaskan Empire.

I can not imagine, once I Conquer the world, after I die in the last battle, the wars fought between the Nations you all will rule.

*When I say Empire it means that he rules more territory than the thing I mentioned.

All charges Dropped!

All charges Dropped! Due to the news of Patrick Qualifying I decided to drop all charges against. BUT, this is still a warning, If he repeats this action he shall be punished!

HAIL JONAH!

Review

The next person I am going to review is Kayla. Kayla was one of the first to get into the conquering business, so therefore she got a good portion of territory. It was at Santa Rosa debate, after telling Chris and Ryan, along with talking about it with Tim(Who found out a few weeks earlier). I think I can still remember the look on Kayla and Michelle's faces when I told them about Conquering, Genocide, Hippiecaust Etc. I told them at dinner, a long dinner that was made even longer by my talking and Michelle begging me to spare Ecuador. Slowly after several Round Robins did everyone get use to my Killing and at Point Loma(My favorite Tournament of the year because so many Toucheans were there and My brother did not enter the Cult of LD.). At Point Loma I gave out territory and Kayla got Europe, A fair amount of territory. But slowly it began to be given away, first Italy to my Mother, then Ireland to Isabella and then Scandinavia to Chris. Along with Europe Kayla had India, and as you know now has part of Hawaii. Kayla has always been a loyal consul, one of the only people that never spoke of assassination, or she could just conspire at her house, I will never know. Kayla has been offered the position of Secretary of state, though she never replied. Kayla is one of my best leaders and along with the rest of you are great consuls. Though recently there have been a death threat, that plot is over. Another great consul and still more to go, well, here is how she rates.


Power-65
Leadership-60
Contentment-95
TOTAL-220

ALL IS LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You fool! I hate to quote a movie but, YOU TURNED THEM ALL AGAINST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO GLORY,NO HONER, ALL GONE. CAN'T YOU SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! I was BRINGING JUSTICE, I WAS HELPING YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLL! BUT THEN, ONCE YOU HAVE THE POWER YOU ALL USE IT AGAINST MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS BEING GENEROUS BY GIVING YOU TERRITORY, BUT YOU, BUT YOU ALL WISH THE DEATH OF ME! IT WILL BE BY MY OWN HAND! GOODBYE! FAREWELL! TELL THE WORLD THEY HAVE BEEN SAVED BY NOT GETTING KILLED BY ME!!!!!!!!!!! TELL THE PEOPLE AT CHURCH I NEVER LIKED THEM AND I JUST PRETENDED TOOOOOOOOOOO! TELL THE PEOPLE AT boy SCOUTS ABOUT THE BOMB I WAS GOING TO BRING TO CAMP...WAIT, YOU GUYS DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THAT. OH well. TELL EVERYONE ELSE IN TOUCHE IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU!GOOD BYE, NOW FALL JONAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, Okay,Okay...

Maybe this went a little too far, but I better just put it to you straight.(Sorry about my Outrage!)

Patrick thinks the following

1. Kayla needs to die.
2.Kayla has too much territory and she might overthrow me.
3. Tim has too much and he is a threat.
4. Chris has too much and he is a threat.
5. Catie and Kayla should not have won Hawaii.
6. Catie is a feminist.
7. Catie gloats too much.
8 He thinks he can overthrow me.
9. He thinks he needs more territory.

I might have exaggerated but none the less, his feud with Catie and comments against Kayla and the Danfords can not be ignored! What do you think?

Should we punish Patrick?

If you speak out against me and join Patrick, may the War gods bring death on you!:) I have been good to him! I make him my chief political advisor, which HE said is better than any territory, but then he wants the Galapagos! He said I won't ask for more because this my favorite place,, PLEASE Jonah? So I give him those stupid islands, would that please him. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He asked for Madagascar, WHICH I GAVE TO HOLLY! Holly, you could have had the Philippians, Singapore AND Madagascar, but I HAD to give him his "other" Favorite place. Finally, I think he is content. But when he doesn't get Hawaii in the contest, WHEN HE SAID I DO NOT CARE IF I WIN! When he does not win he goes off and cries, So I have to "appease" him and I give him command of the FAE Commandos, Six divisions and rank of LT. General and says "Thanks, I will never speak out against you". But now???? He will use the commandos to hunt me down and snipe me in a parade or something! I give him something, and then he wants more! I do not get it! If you thought his out rage on Hawaii was bad, well, this new one! He not only does it on me but on you! Yes on you! He hates you all! First, he calls Catie names like, Feminist, Gloater, and a lot of things I do not wish to repeat because they are mean! Now, I do not mind being mean to most the world, but all of you, Fellow Toucheans? It is cruel! Then, after TONS of comments about hating Catie he says KAYLA SHOULD DIE! Could you believe it! He said Kayla should DIEEEEEEEEEEE! It is evil and rude! He plans plots on attacking your houses! Shooting you with Airsoft guns! and Tearing you apart with insults! To arms, He hates YOUUUUUUUUUUU! nd he tries to cover it up by saying I told him to! He betrayed you all! I will write more later!!!!

Review

The next person I will review is Zacchaeus. Zacchaeus did not join the conquering until after Point Loma. Zacchaeus was not completely sure about it at first, He was spotted plotting with the Enemy. But soon enough he changed and became one of my best leaders. Zacchaeus was given Ellesmere and a Army group. Then I gave him the Light Infantry and my personal and Elite Imperial Guard. Giving him the Imperial Guard shows I can trust him, for now he is now one of my best soldiers. I am Blessed to have great generals like Lt. General Zacchaeus. Now for the rating:

Power-75
Leadership-85
Contentment-75
TOTAL-235

Review

The next person that I am going to review is Lady Cathryn Rowlands,(That is her Official title). Though I resent that remark saying that she is superior to me. Hmmph, I never said I was Superior over her, or anyone in Touche, Just over the rest of the World besides Touche, Which is Superior over the World as well. Anyways, Catie found out about the Conquering at Santa Rosa Debate, Though was never interested in the Empire until I started this Blog, And at the Santa Rosa Speech. She received New Zealand, a small amount of territory, but she was one of the Last to ask. I asked If you wanted Africa at Point Loma, but you refused. Ever since then, Catie has been in the conquering Business a whole lot. Being one of the people that came to my blog the most, and one of the first to find out about it. At CHAT Catie grew from "Someone in the Empire" to one of my high officials. When Catie won Hawaii with Kayla, that increased her power. I intend on giving Catie more government positions, as well as the rest of you, for like the rest of the consuls, I try to give the Toucheans the High positions. Catie is also my secretary, so that gives a little more power. Catie ranks with other Toucheans in my list of consuls. Wow, I have been looking at the people I review, Lazarus, Chris, Tim and now Catie. I got GREAT consuls! If Catie got into the conquering earlier, her power rating would be higher.

Power-40
Leadership-75(this does not only mean Battle leadership, but also government leadership.)
Contentment-98
TOTAL-213

Review

The next person I am going to review is Lazarus. Lazarus has never been quite sure about the conquering Business, often times he wanted to overthrow me. But none the less, when I gave him The Caribbean,Mexico and Central America, As well as many Armies, He had to look past my Evilness and join the FAE. Lazarus didn't even know about the conquering until after point Loma. It was at class once when I gave him his first territory, Mexico. At Santa Rosa I gave him more Power, but he had some doubts. After a long debate about Conquering, we both gave up, and he got more territory and a Army group. Total, Lazarus has The N.Pole, Mexico, Caribbean and Central America. He is a Full, Five star general. He is in command of the FAE Marine corps, and the FAE* Corps of Sharp shooters, and a Army group. I can depend on Grand Admiral, He is one of my very best Soldiers.Now for the rating.

*FAE is our group, the First American Empire

Power-75
Leadership-85
Contentment-50
TOTAL- 210

POLL: Our Emperor under fire from the people

Review

The next person I review will be Chris. Chris, like Tim, Has been very loyal. Chris, along with Tim, Commands a lot of Armies and owns a lot of territory. Chris heard about my Empire at Santa Rosa in November, But did not want anything until Point Loma. His territory slowly grew until what it is now. I have to give him credit, At Santa Rosa he gad to put up with me FOREVER! It must have been a bad experience. Chris commands Army group one. He is also my Adjutant General and Chief of Military Staff. He owns Most of Africa, Scandinavia and Oceania. He is a great subordinate, and I am blessed to have him in the Empire. You know the rules now, and if you do not know look at Tim's Review so you know the points.
To sum Chris up, He has a LOT of territory, High Military positions and is one of my best Co-Emperors.

Power-85
Contentment-70
Leadership-90
TOTAL-245

Secretary Needed

Secretary NEEDED!!! I need to have one, so if someone wants the job, Just ask!

Review

...Tim! Or should I say His lordship, Timothy Danford. I will review Tim. Tim was the first to know about the Empire, I told him at class once. So therefore, He asked for his position first. Tim is a great leader and has been with me from the start. So he should be honored as so. I have to give him credit, He had to put up talking with me a LOT of times. As you know, Tim has all of Asia except for India and the middle east, as well as many Islands. Tim is in command of Army group two, and he is my secretary of defense. I have to admit, he has a lot of power, so if he wanted to, he could overthrow me. But If someone was to take over the empire, I would want it to be a touchean like Tim or Chris. So in the campaigns, it will be a Danford as my second in command. With that said, let us look at his ratings.

There are three categories to judge then an overall. In each category there is 100 possible points. There is Power, which is taken from territory, Armies and Political authority. Then Leadership, which is mainly Does he have good leadership qualities. Then Contentment, which is Is he happy? Or has he spoken out against me. The total on the bottom is added up to show the total amount of influence in the Empire .


Power-95
Leadership-80
Contentment-70
Total-245

Review

I am going to review each co-Emperor and their rating. The first is ...

Empire news

Some people are mad about Our Imperator's decision by giving away Hawaii. There have been Riots, one demonstration was made At his house. There also have been talks of relieving Patrick of his command. More in a moment, this is Empire news

Preview:

I will be reviewing each co-emperor, about them. So stay looking. Congrats again Kayla and Catie!!!!!!!

THE WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The, winners, and the two people who own Hawaii, are...




Catie and Kayla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes they are the winners, For the reasons that Catie only had New Zealand and Kayla had a lot of territory deducted. So the two of them will rule Hawaii together. As for Zacchaeus, you command a Army, Sharpshooter corps and the Imperial guard. Lazarus, you will command A Army group, The Marines and the Light infantry corps. Have fun with your new territory and troops.
PS: Catie and Kayla, Make those Hawaiians your slaves in the sugar cane fields!:)

Hawaii

You know, I have little reason o give it to any of you, besides Zacchaeus. And there are 2 winners.

THe winners ..................

Okay, this took some time to decide. For those who did not win, I have another award for you which I think you will like MUCH better than Hawaii.

The drawing

I will put the names of the following people in a hat and draw two names. Exactly 24 hours went by. The people I will choose from are:


Lazarus
Air soft grenadier(Yes, I still cannot spell your real name)
Catie
Kayla
Patrick

Results later

Hawaii is going in 24 Hours!!!

Just warning you!

Hawaii is up for grabs!

Yes it is true, the territory I have held out on to the last. Whoever sends me a request in the next 24 hours, I will choose who can get it. There is also co-ruler of Hawaii, so two winners. Have fun!

Titles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Catie told me at CHAT that all you guys should have titles besides Emperor of Asia, Empress of Europe etc. So Catie said maybe you all can have neat names, like, His lordship, Timothy Danford or Lady Cathryn Rowlands. So if any of you like a certian name, send it in and we will call you that. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!

Contest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I got a GREAT contest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Okay, here it is, Whoever can design my new capitol city. You can make a map of it, a map of it with each area. Whoever sends the best one gets to have the city named after the winner. Example: Timopilis. It is going to be fun. Once you have it, send it via E-mail or Hand delivered.


Have fun!

Who has what:The Report

Okay, after much talk I made up my mind on who has what. If anyone knows a way to get a map of it on here that would be great!


Tim-Asia minus Oman,Yemen,Iran,Saudi Arabia,Iraq,Syria,Israel area, Turkey and India.
Tim is also Commander of some of my armies and The Secretary of defense.

Chris-Scandinavia, Australia,Africa minus Egypt and Libya and Sicily. Indonesia,Malaysia and New Guinea.Commander of some of my armies.

Anthony-Oman,Yemen,Iran,Saudi Arabia,Iraq,Syria,Israel area,Turkey,Canada and Channel Islands.

Kayla-Europe minus Italy,Sicily and Scandinavia and India.

My friend from church-U.S.

Michelle-South America,Bermuda

Catie-New Zealand

Holly-Philippines

Lazarus-Mexico and Central America and Army Commander. Caribbean.

Zacheus-(Spelling?) Ellesmere and army commander

Jonathan-Greenland,IcelandAlaska,Death camp owner and Chief executioner.
Nicolas-South Pacific Islands.

Everything else, Small Islands, goes to Chris and Tim.

Tension in the empire

I am very worried about tension in the empire, no, not an assassin, but a civil war. When I give territory to people as a provincial Consul, I am worried that they might take their armies against each other or me. This could end with disatrous results. My empire could be torn apart in a bloody civil war, will it happen? I do not know. So what do I do, do I take their postions aay or will that get them mad and make them rebel? I think I will keep with their positions, but there is another matter. There is a conspiracy in the empire. A radical member of this cult is right in front of me, in my speech and debate club. In order to stop this I plan to imprision him, but what happens if he nukes me first? He is a barbarian though we might be able to persuade him to remain on our good side. He plans to get a small island, store up nukes and attack me. How he will get them, I do not Know. He is just a minor detail and is nothing to be reckoned ith. Like a small bug on a Cow. Just letting you know.

I just came back from a long weekend.

I just came back from a speech tournament where my brother was competing. The reason why I post about this is because I made a few VERY important decisions there. I was there with all my allies, and I talked about it quite a bit. The main one is that South America will DEFINITELY be the first area, excluding our very first area, Mexico\Central America. Another is the division of territory, Which I shall post on later. I have more positions for people, so it was a big success.

Empire news

Keep checking my blog because I Blog a LOT and I only thought of my blog three days ago.
There may be a decision that changes the WORLD, or mean the DEATH OF YOU!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA! Just kidding!

Poll:How should I die?

Okay,okay,okay, I KNOW this sounds odd but it is quite
Normal. ANY SUGGESTIONS???????????????????????????????
Should I be stabbed or shot? Assassinated? Die in Battle? Anyways, give it some thought.


The Emperor

The invasion of South America.

I now announce mt plan to invade South America. After my Hugo Chavez scam(Which I will tell you personally) I invade Mexico and Central America and overthrow their weak governments by using my tactics, which I will tell you later, I Invade South America by four invasion routes: 1. Ecuador, I shall use these People as my foothold, send them as scouts and skirmishers to tell me the ways of the land, I will personally take command of that army. They will then march up with 350,000 men through the north and go to Venezuela to link up with the army from Mexico. My second force will land in the Rio de la Plata, under my General of Army group 1, in command of it will be my friend and one of my most trusted subordinate, Chris,with 220,000 men. He will march up north through Bolivia,Argentina,Brazil and unite with the another army that landed en route of the Falklands and will march through Chile and Argentina. It will be directed by another one of my subordinates, Tim with 280,000 men. While my army goes through the north and recruiting mearcenairies onthe way, Tim and Chris will sweep through the west. For the Touche members I will tell all of this in more detail.



The Emperor, Jonah.

Poll

NEW POLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What colors should the flag have.





I would LOVE suggestions!!!

Emperor Jonah.

My Armies:A Poll

What color should my army's uniform be?

A. Grey
B.Red
C. Green
D.White
E. Black
F. Blue
G.Amour instead.
H. Something else.

I would love comments.

What Government?

Another Question, What form of government. We all know some sort of dictatorship, but how? Should we have an Empire? A Monarchy? A Fascist state? A Complete Dictatorship, Make up our own?Oh, all of them so good but which should I choose? Let us look at the benefits and weaknesses of each one.

Empire. Benefits, It has a neat name. It stays with my ancient Rome theme.It keeps the power of dictatorship but has a neat name. TOTAL POWER IN EMPIRE.
Weaknesses. People hate Empires(Do not ask me why!) the word Empire to stupid people=Evil.
Monarchy. Benefits, Lot of power, you can do what you want.
Weaknesses. Kings sound immature and are too traditional, People hate kings.
A Fascist state. Benefits, Lot of power, People have Zeal for their country(Would we be called "the Fatherland?") Lot of military, GREAT FORM OF GOVERNMENT!
Weaknesses. Fascists have a bad name after Hitler, Fascists are hated.
Dictatorship. Benefits, LOTS OF POWER.
Weaknesses. People hate them.
Make up our own. Benefits, we get to have it exactly how we want. We can be known as someone who did not copy others.
Weaknesses. IT IS A LOT OF WORK.

I would love suggestions.

Your Empreror, Jonah.

Which Nation should I attack first?

Now the big question is which nation should I attack first? I thought S. America And Canada to first create a American empire, then I expand to Asia, Europe and then Africa. Also Greenland,
Australia and other Islands. I will gain my armies by hiring Mercenaries from NATO. If any Touche member reads this Comment or E-Mail me so I can tell you about using terrorists and the Hugo Chavez scam. If I do attack S. America and Canada here our the benefits


1. One third of the world is mine.
2. I do not have to worry about getting attacked by Nations right on the same two continents.
3. Plenty of lumber to supply buildings.
4. Plenty of more soldiers in my army.
5. Communist countries liberated(but replaced with an empire).
6. My Ally Anthony gets Canada as one of his Provinces.
7. My Armies under Chris and Tim get to fight and loot and plunder.
8. My Ally Jonathan gets to execute the nation's leaders.
9. My Ally Michelle gets Ecuador.
So therefore I think I should stick with my plan. If anyone objects they cantell me another plan.



Your leader, Jonah

What should I be called?

Now, a big thing is what will my title will be? As much as I like the sound of Emperor, maybe I should have something else instead? And if I do change, what will it be? Anyone can suggest a name. But for now, I shall think of something. How about Dictator, or does that sound too evil to those who have little brains. But those shall be ELIMINATED.(Just kidding!)How about Imperator D'Mundus, or how about Chancellor. Highlord,Overlord,Warlord,Caesar,Supreme Commander. Genrelissiamo? Caizer? The Fuhrer? PLEASE! I am in need of names!



YOUR LEADER, JONAH

Poll

Where should the world capitol be?

A. Rome
B. Berlin
C. Washington DC
D. London
E. Make a whole new city
F. Other
Results next sunday

I plan to divide up the world

I plan to divide up the world, give nations to people who remain on "good standing" with me get a nation or two. So if you see me dividing up the world on my blog, you will know why.

I have a poll

I thought up a question to ask all you, just comment for the answer.



Who was the best Emperor in history

A Julius Caesar
B Alexander
C Hannibal Barca(he was not really a emperor though, just a general)
D Xerxes of Persia
E Attila the Hun
F Nebuchadnezzer of Babylonia
G Napoleon
H Other
Results next sunday.

Hello I am Jonah or Imperator D'Mundus(Which means Leader of the world in latin.) I came to always joking (or maybe not) to take over the world and become dictator and maake my allies in speech and debate into the leaders of the nations below me.I think I have Roman blood in me, or maybe just Italian, but if I do I think I have a mind of a Emperor.